Today marks Alexa Chungs 31st birthday. Not only does she have the most requested hair cut in the local hairdressers and piercing blue eyes, but Alexa Chung also has perhaps the most envied look of the decade.
I should know, I’ve tried it all. I’ve spent hours perfecting the winged cat eye, attempted tousled bed hair and tried to pull off a peter pan collar and brogues without looking like a child on the way to Sunday school.
Perhaps my most drastic and unfortunately recent attempt at replicating the model/ TV presenter/ writer’s look was cutting a fringe. As all stories that involve cutting your own hair go, it did not end quite end as I had hoped.
I have lusted over Alexa’s effortlessly swept bangs since she appeared on T4 circa 2007, and after seeing a recent photo of myself where, lets just say my hair looked more Iggy Pop than Jane Birkin, I decided to take things into my own hands. This sudden wave of urgency made the thought of actually going to a hairdresser sound ludicrous. I thought that perhaps it would add to the effortless cool that the look holds. Surely it couldn’t be that hard? I mean I used to cut my dolls hair and once I even trimmed my dog inbetween a trip to the groomers…
At this point I should probably mention that my hair has not been cut for way over a year due to a common but crippling phobia of overzealous hairdressers. So chopping my fringe, which blended into my long waist length hair into an eye skimming fringe was probably never really going to work.
Pushing aside that logic, I took one last look at Alexa strolling out of a club in New York as she pushed her shiny fringe away from her eyes and took to the scissors. Next thing I knew I had a sink full of hair and a tickley face. It was done. My freshly hacked fringe, the fringe that would bring me one step closer to the look of a Manhattan socialite fit to attend a party with Anna Wintour, the fringe that was horrifically wonky and couldn’t even be concealed in a ponytail. Brilliant.
At least I have learnt something from it, one that the whole of humanity is doomed to never be quite as cool as Alexa Chung and two, not to try and even an already dodgy fringe. Trust me it can only get worse.